It’s been awhile since my last post, but I’m hoping to get back on track starting this week. Things have just been a little hectic with parent-teacher conferences and progress reports at school, and last weekend I went away on a hiking trip, which kind of threw me off. It was totally awesome, especially for my first hike, but being gone all weekend made me feel really behind on everything since then.

Anyway. This week is a big one not only because I’m going to start blogging regularly, for real, but also because I turn 25 tomorrow. I’m not sure whether or not 25 is supposed to be a big deal birthday, but it’s going to be for me.

I’ve given this a lot of thought during the past week. What do I want 25 to be? The other day as I was running at the gym, I thought, “I want 25 to be the year I stand up for myself.” I’ve always had a problem with this. No matter how many pep talks I’d have in the privacy of my room or while driving alone, I still felt anxious about sticking up for myself, and allowed myself to be around people who made me feel guilty, ashamed, unintelligent and/or small. That’s not a loving or healthy way to treat yourself, and although I’ve gotten better about this, the tendency is still there. It’s something I plan to be more aware of and really work on.

That didn’t seem like enough, though. Standing up for myself is a great and scary thing, yes. But what do I really want 25 to look like overall? I want this year to be the one where I really start living authentically. Not apologizing for how I think and feel, being completely, truly honest with myself and the people around me, nurturing my curiosity about things and not letting fear or the critic in my head tell me I can’t do or understand something.

I want to take care of myself. Not just emotionally and intellectually, but physically as well. Even though I’ve been through plenty of “healthy” spurts in the past, those have been kind of superficial and I never made any real lifestyle changes. So it’s time to start caring enough about myself to be healthy in all areas of my life.

Maybe these things seem obvious since they are vital to a person’s happiness. As important as they are, however, these are the areas in which I’ve held myself back my entire life. I’ve worked hard these past few months to work through my problems in these areas, and I can feel that I’ve become a stronger person. Now I’m ready to take that to the next level.

I’m really excited about turning 25. Even though I could make these changes on any given day, and have already started working on them, a birthday just seems like a good place to really mark this “new me.” Twenty-four was the best year of my life. I made some really dramatic changes that were at times quite painful and difficult, but ultimately brought me more happiness and freedom than I ever imagined possible. Now I’m excited to build on those and live with even more joy, understanding and curiosity.

So I guess that’s that. Happy 25th birthday to me